A better way to kill your television

Walk into almost any living room, and you likely will be greeted by a familiar site--a couch, perhaps a chair or two, and a coffee table all arranged around a television. In order to get optimal viewing, we will turn our backs on prized paintings, fireplaces, and picture windows, even blocking those windows with our wide-screened wonders if necessary. And if one TV isn't enough, we will re-create this scenario in our bedrooms, kids' rooms, even kitchens. In fact the television has become so pervasive a presence that even design and shelter magazines, which long shunned the hideous boob tube--it really is a very ugly thing--are now featuring it in their delicious photo spreads.

But with every comfortable sitting place turned to face the TV, it's only natural that we are compelled to turn it on and leave it on, thus eliminating any hope for polite chit-chat, the reading of books, or a rousing round of Scrabble. Like an awkward silence, a darkened television begs for something to fill the void, whether it's fake reality or a knock-down, drag-out screaming fight on Fox News. In short, through poorly planed interior design, we've practically guaranteed that TV will dominate our home life.

I enjoy television too much to give it up entirely, but I have also looked for ways of putting it in its place. I have TIVO, for example, and now can't imagine viewing without it (or with commercials). For a time, I banished the television to the guest room so that the living area could be opened up for more noble pleasures. But I just ended up spending too much time in the back of the house. I considered flat-screens, but they're painfully expensive and they still darken the room when turned off. Armoires may hide the television, but they also enlarge the space they occupy. I finally came up with a solution that made me very happy: a multimedia projector. It resides inconspicuous on a bookshelf and faces a blank wall, whose space can be filled with either moving pictures or still ones when the projector is turned off. Best of all, it's impossible to watch TV when the sun is out, forcing one to at least consider the possibility of the day outdoors.

But I write all of this because this past weekend I discovered another possibility. It's called the Groovetube and it is wonderful. This small plastic grid attaches to the front of your TV using suction cups and filters light into a moving matrix so that even the most banal of images are turned into brilliant kinetic light sculpture. I bought this as a gift for my friend Steve and we spent last night testing out different DVDs. "The Simpson's" yielded the most vibrant and fast-paced color display by far, while the Japanese film Hero's slow movement was quite poetic. I've decided that if you are going to have a television in your room, it should be equipped with one of these gadgets. In fact, I'm thinking of buying a used TV specifically for the purpose of owning one of these.