Paging Breed-a-holics Anonymous!

Want to have kids? How about 12? Oddly enough, that's the aim of a small, Christian subculture called the Quiverfull Movement. At a time when Judith Warner's manifesto on the hell of raising even a couple of kiddos in our society is on the NY Times Bestseller List, Quiverfull moms and dads believe that birth control should be left entirely up to God, thus they forgo even the Catholic-church approved natural family planning methods.

This, of course, leads to supersized families and, from the sound of the articles published on Quiverfull Web sites, seriously stressed out parents. “What does it mean to endure” and “God is bigger than our circumstances” are typical titles which don't quite manage to put a happy spin on the whole situation. In “Against all Odds,” we hear from a woman who went ahead and had ten kids in spite of serious health problems involving missing organs. Of course, better to risk one's health than to blaspheme. Eek!

My personal favorite, however, is simply titled “101 Reasons For Having Children.” Here are a few that didn’t quite convince me:

• My children think I'm beautiful no matter how I look.
• We desire to raise up a standard for God in this evil day.
• Children are like arrows which we send to places where we will never be able to go.
• To prevent menses and enjoy the nursing hormones of prolactin and oxytocin.
• I would hate to stand before God on Judgment Day and have to answer why I rejected the children He had ordained for our family.
• There will be more people to pay for the aged's social security benefits. (There's a plan for ya, Mr. Prez!)

For further reading:
Quiverfull.com
Quiverfull.org
AboveRubies
LotsOfKids.com

Berkeley school in need of divine being

Berkeley people want to rename Thomas Jefferson Elementary School because the man owned slaves. In fact, that's all he did, own and screw slaves.

According to the SF Gate article:
Contenders for the new name included Ralph Bunche, the African American diplomat at the United Nations who was the first person of color to win the Nobel Peace Prize; farmworker organizer Cesar Chavez; and Florence McDonald, the late Berkeley city councilwoman, leftist political leader and mother of singer Country Joe McDonald.

These people did not own slaves, therefore they are appropriate candidates.

I attended Salinas High. Salinas smells like shit all the time from the fertilizer they use on the fields. Although slavery is now illegal, I seem to recall that the labor used to make the town "the lettuce capital of the world" came pretty darn cheap and illegally. Of course, having even attended a school with such embarassing, shameful implications has left me an emotionally crippled ninny. I move to rename it, Saint Jenn High School, because I am darned near perfect.

Open letter to the people holding vigil outside of Terri Schiavo's hospice

We are all touched by your desperate pleas to God and country to save one woman's life. I can certainly sympathize with your fear that the feeding tube removed today might one day be your own. I think we'll both agree that life truly is a precious thing, worth preserving and worth making better for so many people around the world who live in need. That is why, when the media trucks have driven away and our elected leaders return to bickering over education, social security, and Medicare, don't you give up the ghost as well.

Here are 5 suggested activities for all you die-hard pro-lifers in the days to come:
1. Promote a healthy body image among women.
Terri Schiavo’s current vegetative state is a direct result of an eating disorder. Teaching women to have healthy attitudes towards their bodies can prevent additional cases such as this one.

2. Try peace.
War = Death. You cannot say that all life is precious and should be protected, then turn around and say it's OK to blow people up with bombs and very large guns.

3. Fight for life where it's really needed.
Terri's story certainly is a sad one, no matter what you think should happen to her feeding tube. But she's only one woman. Meanwhile, millions of children die each year from preventable diseases. U.S. Sanctions alone have caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of children abroad. America alone is home to 12 million starving children. Like Terri, all these people need is some food and basic medical care to stay alive. Vigil anyone?

4. Consistency, anyone?
Feeding-tube removal happens all the time. In fact, there's a well-documented process for how to do it humanely. If you're going to take up an issue, don’t just do it for a young, white woman who was once kind of attractive while ignoring thousands of old, ugly people. It makes you look kind of stupid.

5. It's quality not quantity that counts.
If you're going to fight for life at any cost, then at least make that life bearable. Start with supporting scientific research with life-saving potential. Support government programs that guarantee health care and nutrition to the poor. Raise minimum wage so that someone who works full-time can afford to care for their family.

Best of luck to you!